1110 Felton Farm Rd., Macclesfield, NC
Dear Brice,
I read about your troubles and I just wanted to be the first to tell you – Don’t try to drag Me into it or I’ll sue your ass seven ways to Sunday. I see from the news reports that you’re one of those churchy types who send their kids to “Church Schools” where observable fact is less important than that ridiculous unauthorized biography I’ve been fighting for so long. I’m not saying that tying someone to a tree doesn’t work; look at My boy. It taught him a valuable lesson, didn’t it? He hasn’t back-sassed Authority for 2,000 years. What I am saying is not to tell anyone I told you to nail tie your boy to a tree. Don’t even hint that I had anything to do with this or My lawyers will sue you faster than a rocket-propelled cheetah with loose morals. The bottom line here is: Don’t screw up My vacation.
Wish You Were Here,
~Gawd
"Gone Fishin': Postcards From God" 