Gawd is in the middle of a particularly intricate stage of His vacation at the moment. By this, of course, I mean the 9th hole at Augusta. On top of that, due to personal and professional situations which, I’m certain, wouldn’t interest you in the least, Gawd’s Postman simply couldn’t be bothered to deliver mail, even if Gawd were writing any. Which He’s not, so the point is moot.
However, here are a few things that Gawd has mentioned He might fire off a postcard about.
- Yes, Russkies, drinking Holy Water on Epiphany does give you an epiphany. In this case, the epiphany is “perhaps you should have run it through a treatment facility, first.”
- Yes, male brand-loyalists, church concubines serving bickies and coffee in a Crusader style setting is entirely in line with Gawd’s will.
- Gawd doesn’t really give a rat’s ass whether you believe in Him or not… just be sure you keep tithing. Oh, and stone the unbelievers, metaphorically or otherwise.
- Gawd’s “To Do” list: Send note to Gozer The Gozerian about finding His old temple. Ask if He minds renting it out.
- Gawd heartily condemns the narrow, ill-informed and uncompromising… for a given subset of same.
- Gawd’s Chosen Atheists trample the sacred brand-loyalist concept of seperation of church and state.