Gawd is Busy…

godisbusycanihelpyou  As Gawd is rather tied up… well, I say “tied up”, but it’s more like “slightly busy”… well, I say “slightly busy”, but it’s more like “not busy at all, unless you count a lie-down by the hotel pool”… well, I say “not busy”, but really, He just can’t be bothered.

  Your atheistical Postman, on the other hand, is busy.  So here are a few things on Gawd’s postcard To-Do list.

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9 responses to “Gawd is Busy…

  1. Gawd is busy. Doing what? How could He be busy? He hasn’t done anything other than take credit for the things others do!

    Now, in India, they got it right. May be the first useful thing done in the name of god(s).

  2. If Gawd gets a Nigerian email scam going, he must remember to

    1. misspell all words containing more than three letters,
    2. ignore all grammar rules,
    3. put his keyboard on ALL CAPS,
    4. use lots of EXCLAMATION POINTS!!!!!!!!

    Failure to do any of those things will alert the readers that this correspondence could not possibly have been composed by the Christian Gawd, and is, therefore, indubitably a scam.

    PS: He may want to consider giving me a small percentage of the income as a commission for dispensing this advice.

    • If it is mispelled, ignores grammatical rules, has odd capitalization (or all caps) and uses lots of extraneous puncutation, that would imply on of Gawd’s zealots, not Gawd.

      Good luck on the percentage, Chappie. I tried that. No dice. Imaginary Gawd doesn’t share His imaginary income. ESpECilly WitH IFIDDEls !!1!!1!

    • Oddly enough, I got an email this morning informing me that I have won $USD406,678,394. But this isn’t a scam, because it says – right there in the email – that, due to fraudsters, this money will only be released into my bank account. All I have to do is give them the number.
      So if you never hear from me again, you’ll know it’s because I’ve cashed in and am vacationing like Gawd.

  3. (((Billy))):

    You mean the phrase, Christian Education, doesn’t refer to Gawd teaching his sheeple the 3 Rs?

    Or, is Christian Education an oxymoron, along the lines of Compassionate Conservatism?

    • Not to mention military intelligence (been there, done that).

      Christian education just has a very different goal than that of public or secular education. Christian education seeks to create an unquestioning believer. Good secular education seeks to create a questioner.

  4. Too bad the Iraqis didn’t stick with Mithraism. I doubt that they would be blowing themselves up in the name of Mithra. Rather, I think they would spend days under the blazing sun worshiping in harmless dance.

    BTW, If Mithra is the one owing the drink, where is she getting money to buy it, since apparently she no longer has a vacation fund.

    • An excellent question. The kind I find brand-loyalists of all stripes are often afraid to face.
      It’s my understanding that They all have tabs at Their Deity Club bar. The polite fiction is that deities like Mithra are in a bit of a temporary slump and the tabs will be paid in full at a later date.

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