1211 Ave. of the Americas, New York, NY 10036
Thank you so much for keeping Me apprised of the horrible threat facing all billionaires today.
I shudder to even write the word. And I fervently thank Me every day that you have engineered this spontaneous uprising of regular people just like Me.
Well, actually, I’m not going to be teabagging anyone, personally. I figure there are plenty of little people who don’t make billions of dollars and thus don’t really have anything better to do, who are more than willing to act as My proxy in the matter of teabagging members of your government. The same, obviously, goes for My fellow billionaires. I’m sure they have better things to do than to protest against raising their taxes almost to the level that Saint Reagan charged them over 20 years ago.
And, to be honest, as a federally-registered deity, I don’t actually pay taxes in the US. But I have a sympathetic feeling toward My brethren billionaires. Not “empathetic”, of course. I can’t honestly say that I know how it feels to be a victim of taxation with representation. Actually, I can’t say that I know how it feels to be a victim of anything. Funny, huh? You’d think, as many times as I’ve smited people, I’d have some kind of understanding of their pain, but not really. Go figure, eh?
Anyway, the point is that I’m 100% behind your protest. “No taxation with representation!”
I know that kind of rhymes and all, but wouldn’t it be quicker and simpler to just say “No taxation,”? Gets right to the meat of the matter, if you ask Me. Shorter, pithier, stronger. Less rhymey and girly. You should look into it.
Whatever you ultimately decide to go with, just know that I will be behind it 100%. As I sun Myself on the topless beaches of Saint Tropez, drinking bottle after bottle of Chateau Lafitte Rothschild for the cause, I will may possibly think of the literally dozens of minions and pawns who will be teabagging for the downtrodden billionaires. I will, in effect, be teabagging your enemies by proxy.
My heroic nature sometimes even chokes Me up. Just know that, although neither I nor any other person these taxes will affect will be physically present, we will all be with you on the barricades in spirit. Know that, inside, as we wrest the cork from another bottle of Chateau Personnes Riches, we are raising our voices in our battle cry with you – “Vive Les Riches Degoutants!” Metaphorically speaking, of course. Nothing ruins a dinner party faster than screaming out slogans during the fish course.
Anywho, it’s time for Me to turn over and tan the other side and I hate holding the postcard between sun and face, so I’ll sign off now. But don’t forget that I support you supporting Me with your completely spontaneous, regular-people-driven teabagging parties.
Wish You Were Here,