Dear Billy Graham…

dear-billy-g

C/O Billy Graham Evangelism Assn., P.O. Box 1270, Charlotte, NC 28201

Dear William,

  I got your letter re: “Cults”.  I’m delighted, as always, to clear that up for you.  In fact, after seeing Watchmen last night, I knocked out a short graphic novel on the other side of this postcard.  That should answer any questions you might have.

    It was really a hoot, authoring a novelized visual artwork.  I forgot how much fun creating things can be.  Maybe I’ll start doing one daily during My schvitz.

  Anyway, remember that other people’s beliefs are crazy, cloud-cuckoo shit – while anything you brand-loyalists believe is rock-hard, scientific fact.  You can quote Me on that.  Actually… don’t mention the “science” part.  You don’t want to alienate the base, if you know what I mean.

  Gotta go.  Time for My schvitz.  I think today I’ll create a serious work of art called Gawdmen.  It’ll be a poignant story of vigilante evangelists in a crazy world with no Me, and how they might seem out of place and out of their minds.

Wish You Were Here,

~Gawd

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7 responses to “Dear Billy Graham…

  1. One characteristic of cults is that they strongly believe they alone are right in their beliefs and everyone else is wrong.

    That sentence could only have been inspired by Gawd.

  2. a poignant story of vigilante evangelists in a crazy world with no Me

    Um, hasn’t Gawd already done that? America? Late 20th and early 21st centuries? Any of this ring a bell?

    • Like many esoteric theological principles, we atheists just don’t see the important difference between “no Gawd” and “vacationing Gawd who doesn’t do anything helpful”. Perhaps a Jesuit could clear this up for you.

  3. I do find it interesting that the last two postcards have been to Satan and to Billy Graham. How do you tell them apart?

  4. How do you tell them apart?

    Satan has much darker eyes than Billy.

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