Dear Pope Benedict XVI…


Photo: Reuters

Vatican City

Dear Benny,

  Hey, how’s it going?  I saw this card and I couldn’t resist.  I was waiting on a flight out of Hawaii and spotted it in the duty-free shop.  Isn’t it a hoot?  It’s called “First the Feet”.  I sent one to My boy, Hippie Jesus, too.  He probably won’t think it’s as funny as you and I do, but, hey – it’s time He lightened up about taking a few odd’s bodkins through the ulnas.  I mean, every deity has an initiation ceremony when They join the club, right?  Hell, His brother, Republican Jesus, had to give a huge donation to a charity for the poor – anonymously!  Now that must have been painful; am I right?

  Anyhoo, I’m sorry you missed the big luau here this week, but it’s probably for the best.  Fabulinus & Vagitanus dropped by and it might have been awkward, seeing as how They’re Children’s Gods.  They tend to feel that pedarast-enablers are kind of offensive.  Live and let live is My motto; so long as the brand loyalists keep tithing to pay for My vacations, of course.

  They’re boarding My flight, so I’ve got to go.  I just thought you’d get a kick out of the card.  Maybe you can squeeze in a trip to the Museion and see the real thing, eh?

Wish You Were Here,



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