Dear Richard Paley…

A Pterosaur doing 3xd4 damage.

A Pterosaur doing 3xd4 damage.

Somewhere on the front lines of the war against Big Science

 

Dear Dick,

 

  Project Pterosaur?  Sign Me up!  It is a sad fact that the worst part of being Almighty Gawd is that a deity can get mighty bored when he doesn’t keep His schedule filled with time-wasters like curing cancer, AIDS and anal discharge.  When One doesn’t clutter One’s To Do list with trivial nonsense like “Heal Amputees” or “Make it Rain in East Africa” or “Smite Inventor of Reality TV”, One struggles to fill the sucking void that is day-to-day life.

 

  Personally, I find that vacationing helps.  However, after all these years, I’m running out of interesting vacation ideas.  It doesn’t help that I can’t seem to find an airline that can give Me a decent price on traveling to Eroticon VI to see Eccentrica Galumbits, the eponymous triple-breasted whore.  “What”, I often ask Myself, “is a deity to do?”

 

  Then I found Project Pterosaur.  You, sir, are brilliant.  I would very much like to join your expedition to find a pterosaur, or fertile eggs of same, to display at the Fellowship Creation Science Museum and Research Institute.  I understand these sorts of, for lack of a better word, “museums” are quite popular right now.  Obviously, you and I know there’s no such thing as a living pterosaur and these Creation Museums reflect reality almost as well as Big Brother.  But that’s not the point, is it?  Bread & Circuses, my friend.  Bread & Circuses.  It keeps people from noticing how screwed they are.

 

  Normally, B & C’s don’t concern Me any more than what they divert attention from.  But this circus looks like the sort of thing that could keep Me from getting bored for quite a while.  Potentially… forever.  We can happily traipse the globe hunting this Snark for as long as we want to.  It’s like a church-approved version of D&D.  All we’ve got to do is pretend… and Cheetoh’s may come into it somewhere – not sure.

 

  In any case, I have enclosed a card for My usual safari outfitters.  I find that these games are much more fun if you enter into the spirit of the endeavor.  I also suggest that we charter a ship of some kind.  No serious adventurer would be caught dead without their own ship, believe Me.  Of course, we’ll need a healer of some kind, a thief, obviously and someone will have to be the clear leader of the party.  I suggest myself.  I am, after all, Gawd Almighty.  We can discuss preparations in more detail later, though.  I’m looking forward to meeting you at a suitable tavern to discuss all of this as well as how to divvy up treasure along the way.  I haven’t been this excited since 1521.

 

Wish You Were here,

 

~Gawd

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