Dear Rep. Waxman,
When I first heard about it, I was against global warming and more greenhouse gasses and all that stuff. Not enough to interrupt My vacation, of course, but against it in the same way people with yellow ribbon magnets on their cars are for the troops. However, I’ve been watching Fox News lately and they’ve really turned Me around about the whole thing. I’ve gotten the distinct impression from them that if anyone even thinks very hard about doing something about greenhouse gasses, the entire world will soon be living in caves. As I’m sure I don’t have to point out, that would mean no more flights to the French Riviera for Me.
So I’d like to ask a favor. Nothing too difficult. Nothing the majority party in Congress isn’t already doing, actually. It’s this: Just give George what he wants. I know you fellows in Congress can understand Me when I say that My vacation is simply more important than anything the plebs might want.
Of course, I know how you do things down there in Washington, so here’s a little added incentive. Remember when you asked Santa for a model of a B-25 bomber when you were six and he shafted you? I can make that right. All you’ve got to do is what you want to do anyway.
Thanks in Advance & Wish You Were Here,