C/O Obama for America, Chicago, IL
Hi, how are you? I know I don’t often write, but neither do You… I’m sorry, I promised Myself I wouldn’t say things like that. I’m writing because I saw that You’ve announced Your support for Obama. As a father, I can honestly say that I’m glad You finally seem to be buckling down and getting some kind of direction. Me knows, I wasn’t too happy about the crowd You were hanging around with. I didn’t want to say anything to You before, because, You know, a father’s got to let their son live their own life; but it always seemed to Me that they were making You take the blame for their actions. Anyway, I just wanted to let You know that I’m glad you got a job. Don’t let them underpay you – if you need salary advice You can call. It wouldn’t hurt You to pick up the phone every now and then, just to say hello, You know? I’ll be in Cawker City, KS, seeing the largest ball of twine in the universe until Thursday, if you need me. And call Your mother, she’s been everywhere looking for You.
Oh, by the way, You tell those Swift Boat Clergymen for Truth guys that if they run that ad calling me an absentee father, I’ll sue their ass.
Wish You Were Here,