Dear George…

We may vacation the same amount, but never together.

15 May, 2008

The Not-Actually-Promised-Land

Dear George,

  I saw in the paper yesterday that you were in Israel.  How’s the weather there?  I’ve only visited once, myself.  It was 2,000 years ago and I met a nice Jewish girl.  But you know how it is being a celebrity; they’re still talking about it today.

  Anyway, the reason I dropped you this postcard is because I noticed you had this to say:

  “Our two nations both faced great challenges when they were founded. And our two nations have both relied on the same principles to help us succeed.  We built strong democracies to protect the freedoms given to us by an almighty God.”

  George… I know I’ve told you this before, but for the sake of your father, my fellow Bonesman, I’ll patiently go over it again.  In 1776 I was vacationing in Bournemouth and I spent all of 1948 on the island of Tonga.  Therefore, (and I don’t want to get too sciencey for you here), I couldn’t have given you anything of the sort.  I was – not to put too fine a point on it – on vacation.

Wish You Were Here,



2 responses to “Dear George…

  1. Seems like a lot of energy to put into misrepresenting someone you barely know and claim not to believe in.

  2. Oh, it’s no trouble, ma’am. Just doing my duty. Neither rain nor sleet nor hail, etc.

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