Behind closed doors, In the kitchen, Under a rug
How are you, sweety? Long time, no see. Well, actually, I guess I’ve never seen you, have I? Since the day We met at your wedding to Mohammed, I’ve only ever seen your eyes and a finger that one time, which I swear was an accident. And speaking of your wedding, what a party, eh? I especially liked the balloon camels and date-flavored cotton candy. I well remember how excited you were about the wedding gift I brought. Of course, what 9 year-old girl wouldn’t be excited for a My Pretty Pony coloring book?
I ran across this photo from your wedding and thought you might like to have it. Mohammed was still relatively sober when this one was taken, so I thought it would be the best one to send along. Once He got into that herd of goats, well…
Er… Did I ever mention that was a very striking wedding sack burqa you wore?
Anyway, I’ll keep this short, since you’re just the female of the species and not supposed to talk to any other living thing. Best wishes from Dad and My brother. Oh, and watch out for priests, just in case.
Your Lord & Saviour,