Dear Aisha…

Behind closed doors, In the kitchen, Under a rug

Dear Pip,

  How are you, sweety?  Long time, no see.  Well, actually, I guess I’ve never seen you, have I?  Since the day We met at your wedding to Mohammed, I’ve only ever seen your eyes and a finger that one time, which I swear was an accident.  And speaking of your wedding, what a party, eh?  I especially liked the balloon camels and date-flavored cotton candy.  I well remember how excited you were about the wedding gift I brought.  Of course, what 9 year-old girl wouldn’t be excited for a My Pretty Pony coloring book?

  I ran across this photo from your wedding and thought you might like to have it.  Mohammed was still relatively sober when this one was taken, so I thought it would be the best one to send along.  Once He got into that herd of goats, well…

  Er… Did I ever mention that was a very striking wedding sack burqa you wore?

Anyway, I’ll keep this short, since you’re just the female of the species and not supposed to talk to any other living thing.  Best wishes from Dad and My brother.  Oh, and watch out for priests, just in case.

Your Lord & Saviour,

“Uncle” Jesus

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3 responses to “Dear Aisha…

  1. I hope Muhammad found a razor amongst his wedding gifts. His beard was a tad untidy that day.

    • For fear of a custard pie through my mail slot or a beheading or a flaming bag of poo on the doorstep, I don’t want to say who is Mohammed and who is the 9 year-old bride in the photo. let’s just say that one of them shaved for the wedding and one did not.

  2. Postie,

    Please pass my thanks to Jesus for the letter. I feel I now know Mohamed better than ever!

    The child molester lover even played with toys, according to Wikipedia.

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