Dear Rev. Kenneth Copeland…

Kenneth Copeland Ministries  Fort Worth, TX 76192

Dear Kenny,

  I was flipping through the intertubes this morning, wondering, frankly, how I was going to keep paying for all of this vacationing I do.  The fact is, being “as rich as Gawd” is not such an impressive feat as it once was.  Being as rich as an oil executive; now that would be something.  Anyway, I ran across a story about you telling Congress that they couldn’t see your financial records, as they belong to Me.

  I was never much good at logic, but it seems self-evident that if the financial records are Mine, then the money they represent must be Mine, too.  Gracias, amigo.  It couldn’t have come at a better time.  What with the airlines charging extra to sit next to the escape hatch and the fuel surcharge, I’ve been feeling the pinch.  Your kind-hearted gesture is like manna from home.  You’re a shining example to the other hucksters preachers being investigated who still have some lingering regard for the Rule of Law.  I almost wish I could take you with Me when I start spending this new cash flow, but you know what they say; two’s a crowd.

  Oh, and if you run into “Shorty”, tell him to bite his tongue.  I’d put a private jet to good use, so long as someone else paid for the gas.  As for the offer of the 1998 Ford; I’ll pass.

Wish You Were Here,

~Gawd