Dear Satirical Political Report…

The Intertubes

Dear Mr. Davis,

  When you called for an interview request, I assumed that the usual rules applied and that our conversation was off the record.  Imagine My shock when I opened up the intertubespaper to see that you had quoted Me verbatim.  You’ve taken Me out of context.  The fact is, I was a little squiffy when you called and, assuming we were on deep background, I decided to have a little fun with you.

  Look, the truth is, I don’t run anything.  I’m on vacation.  Have been for years.  As for all the destruction, you don’t need Me for that.  You fellows are doing a pretty good job of it on your own.  In fact, I’d venture a guess that My lawyers, Fire, Brimstone & Wrath, LLC, would consider that bit libelous.  I generally don’t smite on vacation, but I’ll sue your ass in a New York minute.

  I’m going to keep this short, since I’m writing from a motor coach on my way to Budapest, so let Me just sum up:  Off the Record.  On Vacation.  Sue Your Ass.  Got it?  Leave Me out of your politics, for My sake.

Wish You Were Here,

~Gawd